YES SHE MATTERS | DECEMBER 2018
She is a mother, a grandmother, a wife …. again, she was beaten; again, she was terrified; and once again, he threatened her life.
“Don’t think I can’t hurt you! Before I leave, I will cut your face and no man will ever look at you again!”– Perpetrator
One woman’s reality is another woman’s unimaginable nightmare. She didn’t know a husband isn’t supposed to beat his wife. She didn’t know a husband isn’t supposed to rape his wife whenever he chooses even though she’s said no. She didn’t know her rights as a woman, a mother, a wife. Now she knows, but she wasn’t ready to leave.
After meeting with ‘Yes She Matters’ Case Advocates a safety plan was agreed on and put into place ready to go. Situational awareness and identifying triggers was discussed at length, a lot of which she had naturally picked up living on the edge of fear for so long. She also learnt a few simple reality based self defence moves before quickly heading back home where she was grilled on why she met with the team. She was ready for his reaction and used the well-rehearsed response as planned. Thinking his secrets of domestic violence, rape and abuse were safe, he let it go.
One week goes by and there’s no word of any issues at home. After two weeks she calls to say he’s a changed man and he’s promised from now on to be the best husband, father and provider he can be. Another week passes, she calls to say he has employment and things are improving; he’s now supportive.
Then the phone rings one morning and she’s crying out for help ….
How does this happen? Things were going so well, right? Well, all she did was answer her phone, and he flipped.
Filled with liquid courage he started spitting insults and accusations in her face. Trying to reason with him, she explained what she was doing which only made enraged his more. He grabbed her by the throat, slamming her body against the wall. Beating her head with his fist while she was struggling to breath.
But this time she was ready ….
She grabbed his wrist releasing the pressure from her throat, while reaching down grasping the first thing her fingers touched; she stabbed him in the ribs with the item until he released her. She picked up the short pole that stays hidden behind the table and went for his head until he backed down. Locking herself in the next room, she called the ‘Yes She Matters’ emergency line for help.
He realised what was happening, quickly grabbed some clothing and fled. Measures have been taken, and he will no longer be allowed near the family again.
There is a long road ahead, but thanks to her bravery, a much safer future is in sight for this entire family.